Little Sister
by schillingklaus
Summary: Magic Malika turns Carly magically into an infant. Will Spencer be able to care for her until her most sincere fan is able to release her from her condition?


**Little Sister**

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**Klaus Schilling**

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**Rating**

PG-13

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**Disclaimer**

I don't own _Zoey 101_ or any other show or work of arts.

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**Description**

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**Fandoms**:

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_Zoey 101_,_Drake & Josh_,_The iCarly Show_,_Unfabulous_,_Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_,_True Jackson VP_,_Victorious_,_Big Time Rush_

******Genres**:

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gothic massively multiplot novelet — Mystery, Spiritual, Fluff, Family, Friendship,…

******Summary**:

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Malika makes a poppet of Carly and turns the latter into a baby. Will Spencer be able to care for Carly until her most sincere fan can release her by means of a kiss?

******People**:

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Carly Shay–Dustin Brooks, Spencer Shay – Zoey Brooks, Fredward Benson – Sabrina Carlsen, Samantha Puckett – Ryan Laserbeam, Nevel Papperman – Magic Malika, Lewbert – Coco Wexler, Gibby Carlsen – Katie Knight, Harper Harris – Lisa Perkins, …

******Timeline**:

* * *

post-series _Zoey 101_,_Drake & Josh_,_Unfabulous_,_Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_, _Just Jordan_,_Spectacular!_, diverges during third season _The iCarly Show_, second season _True Jackson VP_, first season _Bigtime Rush_and _Victorious_, AU for _Best Player_

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**Background**

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The story is written for a request by Boris Yel'tsin

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The story is written for _LiveJournal_-Community _Paranormal25_, claim _Zoey 101__, __The iCarly Show__, __Drake & Josh_, prompt _Poppet_

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**Contents**

* * *

Chapter 1 Witchcraft Academy

* * *

Chapter 2 Innocent Like A New Child

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Chapter 3 Medical Support

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Chapter 4 When The Parkers Come

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Chapter 5 Megan at Ridgeway

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Chapter 6 Home Classes

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Chapter 7 Advances

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Chapter 8 Finale

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**Chapter 1 Witchcraft Academy**

* * *

Malika[1:1] had been a seemingly normal Seattle girl, until, one day, she had discovered the website of Megan Parker, the leading witch of the Pacific Coast.

Megan appeared to be a sweet little girl from San Diego, except to her worthless brothers Drake and Josh, better known as the _boobs_.

Technically spoken, Joshuah Nichols was only her step-brother.

But what did that matter considering the following…

Hardly anyone had ever known that she was not really a human of his world, but a magical being from another dimension.

At the age of 11, she had been able to raise popular illusionist Henry Doheny from the dead.[1:2]

Most people deemed this a genial illusionists' trick by Doheny.

That was the reason for the entertainer's return to the big stage in Las Vegas.

But Malika was more suspicious. She knew that Megan was more than she seemed. Hence she contacted Megan at meganparkerDOTcom, and she expressed her wish to learn from Megan to become a master witch.

Megan had to ponder the situation. She never had many students of witchcraft, as she was selecting them very carefully.

Megan's first student was Tyler Pearson[1:3], a boy even younger than herself.

Alas, the relationship between Megan and Tyler had not always been perfect.

In the beginning, Tyler was Megan's assistant prankster. Then he wanted to date Megan.

Alas, Megan had not been keen on that possibility, as she wanted to try to use her magics in order to bewitch some older boy named Corey.[1:5]

Only after Corey proved himself a total jerk was the way free for Tyler.

And it was at that same time that Malika started to contact Megan.

After some careful considerations, Megan began to trust Malika.

This was the begin of a wonderful master–disciple relationship.

* * *

Three years later, Malika had already come to learn a lot. She was now mastering the crystal ball, the broom stick, and the _grimoire_. She wrote various scrolls, and she carved runes.

Megan had only recently deemed Malika progressed enough to learn the craft of using poppets.

Now Malika had demonstrated her skills by making a poppet of Joshuah Nichols, and perforating it with a few needles, causing some headache to the real Josh.

Megan was pleased by Malika's prefect performance of witchcraft.

Thereupon, Malika was granted the title of a master witch, even before Tyler was going to be granted the same title.

Malika was now going to establish her own business as a mistress of witchcraft.

* * *

Finally, the first customer of _Malika's Magic Studio_ showed up. He was even younger than Malika. Grinning, he introduced himself as Nevel Carlos Papperman.

Malika wondered what Nevel was looking for.

Nevel sighed. 'Mrs. Pensky, the wife of my dad is such a dumb bitch. She needs a thorough punishment for that.'

Malika scratched her hair. 'What sort of punishment do you think of?'

Nevel shrugged. 'She doesn't understand half of the words her daughter Quinn says. She even confuses alpacas and ostriches.[1:6]. Unfortunately, she owns the house, the garden, the cars, the plasma tv, the video gamne collection… and if she ever figured that dad had other women while they were married, dad would lose all of that.'

'Gross,' remarked Malika. 'But I have to tell you that an appropriate punishment for someone I don't know yet takes a long time to prepare. And what would your half-sister Quinn say? You apparently respect her.'

Nevel sighed, 'too true… she's a master surgeon, and noy even 20 years old. Quinn has given me a porcupine[1:7] as a gift. You don't want to know what her mom would call it… whatever!'

Malika shrugged.

Thereupon Nevel had another idea. 'Maybe you could deal with someone less perverse, but still really annoying. You should know her, as she's going to your school, _Ridgeway_.'

Malika wondered what was the name of the girl.

'Her name is Carlotta Shay,' replied Nevel, 'commonly going as Carly.'

Malika's eyes bugged out. 'OK, that request goes definitely free of charge!'

Nevel concluded that Malika knew Carly better than he had expected.

Malika explained, 'Carly is a cousin of my witchcraft teacher. She hangs out with many people that aren't worthy of her, such as Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Griffin Benjamin[1:8] and on and on and on it goes… I've tried to get her back to the right way by trying to bewitch and abduct that useless boob Fredward Benson, but she's too dumb to see that I've just tried to save her from eternal decadence…'

Nevel wondered what a _boob_ was.

Malika explained that her witchcraft teacher had invented that term.

Nevel and Malika high-fived. 'That cries for some lesson, the hard way!'

Nevel's box that contained his recorder[1:9] slipped a bit, so he had to tighten his grip on it.

Malika asked, 'do you play the recorder?'

Nevel grinned. 'Sure, also the piano…'[1:10]

Malika smiled. 'My witchcraft teacher plays the oboe. I think your music may help me quite a bit…'

Nevel beamed like a light bulb, but a whole lot brighter.

Malika promised to start shaping a magic doll in the likeness of Carly Shay as soon as possible.

* * *

**Chapter 2 Innocent Like A New Child**

* * *

Next morning, Malika woke up early. She looked at her cellular phone which alerted her of a new SMS.

Who had sent her such a message even before the rise of sun?

She yawned like a sick hyena and tried to wipe the sleep out of her eyes.

After a few minutes, the message was clear:

Nevel was already on his way, with a suitable doll.

Malika wondered, because she had been the one in charge with making the doll.

Whatever, the door's bell rang.

Malika opened.

Grinning like a chacal, Nevel stumbled in.

Malika asked him about the doll.

Nevel smiled. He fumbled with his pockets. 'There it is!'

A sock puppet in Carly's likeness appeared.

Nevel explained: 'I made and used the thing a year ago in order to make fun of Carly and Sam.[2:1] The doll of Sam in now used as a rug in order to wipe my toilets.'

Malika smiled in an otherworldly manner. 'Hey, the doll is much too nice for Carly's creepiness.'

Nevel sighed. 'I know, but Sam's doll…'

Malika imagined: 'Sam's doll would make me throw up on site!'

Nevel nodded, as if knowing what Malika was thinking about.

Malika explained, 'the doll needs to be prepared magically. You don't want to see that, trust me!'

Nevel was a bit sad, but he believed in Malika's words. Then we waved at the witch and walked home.

* * *

Carly and Spencer stood in their loft.

Carly needed money for a new lip gloss.

But Spencer, while sculpting an extension of his bottle man, remained stubborn. 'You've used twice as much money for lip gloss already, compared to last year! You grow up much too fast!'

Carly gasped. 'It's natural, I'm no longer a tweenie! Plus Sam always borrows mine.'

Spencer glared with grim determination.

Suddenly, the bottle construct caught fire.

'And you never grow up,' bellowed Carly. She fetched the fire extinguisher and squirted some white foam at Spencer's work of art.

Spencer screamed, 'it's all your fault. You're grounded, for two weeks!'

Carly thundered, 'it isn't my fault! You never grow up. I'm as innocent as a newborn child!'

Spencer grinned diabolically. 'Oh sure!'

His voice was chock full of sarcasm.

Carly didn't reply. She would have loved to growl back at her mean guardian. But she could only choke and weep. She also felt shrinking.

Spencer sighed. 'OK, you've won, but only two bucks, happy now, Carly?' He wondered why she didn't talk. 'Carly?' Finally, he turned around and saw Carly shrinking continually. 'Carly!'

But it was too late.

Carly had been turned into a baby.

Spencer stomped his feet. 'Did he have to mess it all up?'

At least, Carly was now no longer in need of lip gloss.

Alas, Sam still was. But she wasn't yet here. She was, however, supposed to show up any time, and so was Freddie.

And that was the minute Spencer had been thinking about.

Freddie was knocking at the door of the loft.

Spencer startled. He hid Carly behind the couch before he opened for Freddie. He grinned.

Freddie smiled. 'Is Carly ready for the web session?'

Spencer coughed. 'Should be any time…' He coughed and twitched.

Then Freddie walked the loft.

Spencer tried to hide Carly behind his stinky butt.

Too bad she couldn't bear the stench and started weeping.

Freddie n oticed that. 'A baby?' He was flabbergasted.

'No,' replied pencer with little credibility, 'it's a sculpture of a baby.' He went pale.

Freddie didn't fall for Spencer's white lies. 'She's cute! Almost like Carly.'

'Er, yeah,' admitted Spencer.

'She must be a relative of yours,' concluded Freddie, 'hey, what did yoiur ex-girlfriend look for, a few weeks ago?'[2:2] He supposed that the baby was Spencer's daughter.

Spencer fainted even more. 'No way! I have never ever…'

Freddie grunted, 'you don't want to make me believe it's Carly's baby, do you?' _Who could have been the father? He would have been so dead by now._

Spencer shook his head. 'It isn't Carly's baby, it is… Carly!'

Freddie glared aghast at Spencer. 'Are you mad? You don't suppose me to believe that, do you?'

Spencert stammered helplessly.

Freddie shrugged. 'Whatever, you are not able to care for a baby. You would set its diapers ablaze.'

'I would never set anything ablaze,' lied Spencer, but in vain.

Freddie held Carly safely. 'OK, I'm going to take your baby to mom. She will call your grandpa, and then…'

Spencer was totally flabberghasted.

Grandpa Shay would go through the roof.

The door opened.

Sam marched in.

No door of whole _Bushwell Plaza_, however locked, chained, barred, and trapped, was safe from her.

Sam grunted, 'I'm checking the fridge.'

Spencer shrugged.

Thereupon Sam nodded Freddie and the baby. 'Freddork's baby?' She grinned. 'Who's the gaga mom? Valerie[2:3] or Shelby[2:4]'

Freddie went pale.

Sam took a closer look at the baby. 'Oh no, it must be Carly's baby. And you have made me believe that you haven't even kissed a girl, you liar!'

Freddie stammered helplessly.

Ma Benson was clearly not supposed to know about baby Carly.

Supposing Freddie to be a father of any baby would have made her worse and more upset than a pack of brainless furies.

And Sam was doubtlessly going to spread such news.

Freddie recognised the need to believe Spencer's words, their stupidity notwithstanding. 'It's not Carly's baby, it is Carly!'

Sam laughed like a sick hyena.

Spencer confirmed Freddie's words. He told the kids what had happened.

'Sure,' replied Sam. 'Carly,' thundered she across the loft.

But there was no Carly other than the baby.

Suddenly, the TV set activated itself.

Nevel appeared on the screen, grimacing wildly. 'Do you rue the day, Carly Shay? Do you rue it? You rue it!'

Sam and Freddie were consternated.

Spencer was upset. 'Nevel!'

Nevel explained that he was now working together with Malika. He cackled with glee.

Freddie and Sam still deemed the magic explanation for absurd, but they agreed with Spencer on the necessity of hiding Carly's status from grandpa Shay, from Mrs. Benson, and from everyone at _Ridgeway_, especially from Mr. Howard and Mrs. Briggs.

Spencer added, 'don't forget: from Lewbert too!'

Freddie and Sam nodded solemnly.

Alas, they needed to feed Carly, change her diapers, calm her down, and so on.

Nevel grinned. He held his recorder[2:5] aloft. 'I could play lullabies for Carly. The price is…'

Spencer, Freddie, and Sam agreed instinctively on turning down Nevel's "generous" offer, regardless of the price.

For the latter was unlikely to be acceptable.

But what to do?

* * *

**Chapter 3 Medical Support**

* * *

Early next morning before the sun was rising, Freddie snuck out of his apartment. He had learned a few tricks from Sam that enabled him to escape his mother's alertness. Now he was in Spencer's loft.

Spencer cvomplained terribly. 'Carly was weeping all the time. I tried to let her suckle at me, but…'

Freddie glared aghast. He remarked, 'that's not possible, you're a man!'

Sam laughed her butt off. She had spent the night in Carly's room, as her mom was drunk.

Fortunately, one of Spencer's sculptures had made more noise than even Carly. This had been going on for half a week, thus the neighbours had already reactred by using headcuffs.

Too bad Mrs. Benson had already alerted the administration of _Bushwell_.

Thus the noise of the sculpture was only a solution for a few days more.

Nevertheless, asking for Nevel's help was, of course, nowhere near acceptable.

Sam moaned, 'I've tried to feed Carly with barbecue ribs, but she didn;t want it…'

Freddie gasped. 'That's because she can't eat it yet!'

Spencer suggested Sam to breastfeed Carly.

Freddie shook his head. 'Do you want Carly to become a criminal?'

Spencer sighed in dismay.

Sam gazed at Freddie.

Freddie continued, 'it wouldn't work anyways, as Sam hasn't been pregnant during the last year.'

Spencer was puzzled.

Sam shook her head. 'Fredward only invents stuff. He doesn't know zilch about babies, as he has never been one. He was assembled from pieces of rusty robots…'

Freddie coughed.

Spencer shrugged. 'I've always supposed so…'

Freddie poked Spencer. 'For your information… I was practising with Stephanie, my baby cousin, during her visit…' [3:1]

Sam giggled. 'You can't even get Stephanie to smile!'

Freddie tried to rebuke Sam by getting Carly to smile.

Instead, Spencer and Sam started rolling on the floor laughing.

Freddie pouted.

Sam had got an idea. 'My mom's plastic surgeon[3:2] is now permanently in Seattle.'

Freddie croaked, 'who cares?'

Spencer could not make any sense of it.

Sam continued, 'she invented many medications and stuff. She could invent something to make Carly quiet and grow up faster, or to allow me to breastfeed Carly.'

Freddie sighed. 'That would be fantastic!'

Spencer beamed. 'Must be a really experienced old hospital farter…'

Sam shook her head. 'She's ninteen and graduated from Melanie's[3:3] boarding school last summer.'

Spencer's face froze to a block of ice.

Freddie couldn't believe it. 'Don't start that crap with "Melanie" again!'

Sam shrugged. 'You don't have to believe me. Freddork. But I'm going to get you, some day when you least expect it…'

Freddie coughed noisily.

Carly started weeping more and more.

Spencer was desperate. 'OK, where can I meet that surgeon?'

Sam shrugged. 'Only mon has got her number, or Melanie!'

Freddie was disgusted, but this meant that he had to ask Sam's ugly, shriveling mom, as there was no such thing as Sam's monocygostic sister Melanie.

Alas, they faced another problem. Not only did they have to feed Carly, but they also had to get her excempted from the duty of going to school.

Fortunately, this was a minor problem.

Spencer grinned, 'our cousin Megan looks a lot like Carly, and…'

Freddie blew a cloud of dense, billowing smoke through his ears, his lips, and his nose. _This was too much._ 'Whom are you trying to fool?' thundered he across the loft. 'There's no such thing as "Melanie", and there's certainly no such things as "Megan", either!' He stomped his feed and walked out. 'Have a nice one,' bellowed he at Sam and Spencer. 'Mom! I need a tick bath!' And he was gone…

Spencer gasped.

Sam sighed. 'We can do without him! He's useless, anyways, as all dorks and dweebs. Where is your Megan?'

Spencer calmed down. 'In San Diego. That is close to the Mexican border.'

Sam coughed. 'That's even further to the south than Melanie's boarding school, isn't it… won't she miss out on her own classes?'

Spencer nodded. 'True, it is very far. But she's now homeschooled. And her teacher is her step-brother Joshuah. A phone call, and they will come…'

Sam smiled. 'Joshuah… sounds like a dork…'

Spencer shrugged.

Sam picked up her cellular phone. 'I'm calling Melanie and ask her for Quinn. If you call your cousins, tell them to bring me some Mexican food. I'm still hungry.'

Spencer nodded. 'I'm going to call Josh. Megan can be very abrasive, so it's better to ask Josh first.'

Sam shrugged.

Both of them started typing long numbers.

It took Spencer over half an hour in order to explain the delicate situation unto his step-cousin Joshuah Nichols.

Sam was still talking to Melanie.

Spencer finally concluded. 'OK, they will be here by tomorrow evening.' He sighed with relief. 'Megan's elder brother will also come.' However, he did not tell Sam who the elder brother was. _Sam was an undying fan of Drake Parker, Spencer's cousin and infamous rock idol of the younger generation. It was better left as a surprise._

Sam was done with her call, too. 'Melanie will tell Quinn to call us back tonight, or maybe tomorrow.'

Spencer wiped some hot, burning sweat off his face. 'By the way, Megan also plays the oboe. She may play lullabies for Carly.'

Sam smiled. 'Sounds fantastic!'

Spencer nodded.

* * *

Freddie was still totally upset because everyone was trying to fool him. 'Mom, I need some more cloud blocker!'

Marissa Benson had no clue why Freddie was all of a sudden so keen on his tick bath. 'OK, but now it's time to get ready for school. Will Spencer take you?'

Freddie shook his head. 'No, Spencer only takes Carly and Sam to school. His car is already chock full with sculptures…'

Marissa shook her head. 'Spencer is so irresponsible… his grandpa should have taken Carly to Yakima, instead.'[3:4] Then she took Freddie.

They were finally on their way to school.

* * *

Sam did not know that Quinn was Nevel's half-sister.

Spencer did not know that Megan was Malika's witchcraft teacher.

Would such a knowledge have influenced their minds?

We don't know for sure, but we will see the consequences of those hidden facts.

* * *

**Chapter 4 When The Parkers Come**

* * *

Spencer, Sam, and Carly were hanging out in the loft.

Spencer was weighing Carly in his arms.

The door bell rang.

Sam looked through the door's peep hole. 'Carly! No, it must be…'

Spencer smiled, 'Is there also a guy that looks like a human elephant?'

Sam nodded solemnly. She opened.

Megan, Josh, and Drake walked in.

Spencer hugged his cousins.

Drake had been wearing a wig in order to go unrecognised by possible fan girls jamming the streets. Now he removed the cover.

Sam now recognised Megan's elder brother: 'Drake,' thundered she across the plaza.

Drake was consternated.

Sam jumped into Drake's arms, throwing him down to the ground. 'He's mine!'

'What a poor taste,' remarked Megan.

Sam glared at her.

Spencer grabbed Sam, pulling her off Drake.

Sam pouted.

Drake adjusted his outfit. 'You know I'm irresistable…'

Megan grunted, 'you wish, boob!'

Sam wondered, 'OK, let me think what the other "boob" is good for!'

Josh twitched.

Sam snuck behind Josh and pulled his underwear, cackling with glee. 'Wedgie time!'

Josh squealed and twitched in agony.

Drake and Megan giggled.

Spencer tried to stop Sam.

Drake weighed now Carly in his arms.

Megan tickled Carly.

Sam grunted, 'you look like a young couple with their first baby…'

Megan and Drake gazed at Sam in a horrifying manner.

Spencer announced that Megan was going to sleep in Carly's room, while Drake and Josh were to stay in his own chamber.

Megan giggled. 'Right, boobs don't need much room.'

Sam agreed.

* * *

Sam had guided Megan up to the attic of the loft. 'Here we make the web show.'

Megan shrugged. 'Josh likes watching all of it, but I only care about _Mess With Lewbert!_.'

Sam sighed. 'So, do you think you're up for replacing Carly in _iCarly_?'

Megan shrugged. 'We have to try…'

Sam sighed. 'Fredork should be here any time, he's our tech producer. He always hits on Carly, but she doesn't allow for too much.'

Megan grinned. 'Wow, a spying cam… interesting.'

And there was the moment Sam had just anticipated.

Freddie walked in. 'Carly! You're back!' He sighed with relief.

Sam chuckled. 'That's Megan…'

Freddie stomped his feet. 'You're not going to fool me again. There's no Melanie, and there's no Megan, either!'

'You still want to kiss me?' wondered Megan. She played with her lips.

Freddie gasped. 'Really?'

Sam grinned like an idiot.

Freddie threw his arms around Megan and pulled her close.

Megan remarked, 'your spying cam is cool.'

After a flighty kiss, Freddie remembered that carly had never been keen on Freddie's spying equipment. 'Hey, you can't be Carly…'

The girls high-fived and laughed like a crazy fool.

Freddie choked. 'I've kissed Megan… back in a few.' He darted downstairs.

The girls heard him throw up on the staircase.

Megan sighed. 'But he is really cute. He almost looks like a guy named Toplin[4:1] that used to hit on me.'

Sam gasped. 'Maybe they are the same?'

Megan scratched her head. 'Or related?'

Sam and Megan glared at each other.

Freddie still had his doubts about Sam having a monocygotoc twin and he had only reluctantly accepted Carly's cousin. How was he going to react when facing a similar-looking relative of himself was brought into the game?

The girls were ready to abuse Freddie's confusion mercilessly.

Sam explained, 'OK, Megan, just talk a bit less than Carly would usually say. You will introduce Drake, though.'

Megan giggled. 'Aw, I will,' promised she solemnly.

Sam remarked, 'please, don't talk about him as usual. There are many fans of Drake among our viewers, and we don't want to lose them.'

Megan confessed, 'I am proud of Drake and his music. What bothers me is just that he is too much of a sloth. He needs to work more for his career, but he doesn't.' She sighed. 'In addition, it's great to be able to listen to his music whenever you want to, but I also had to listen to it when I was not in the mood.'

Sam sighed, understanding what Megan was going to say. She trusted Megan to do the right thing.

Freddie was back in time. He was still totally pale, But he counted down the seconds. 'Online in 5…4…3…2'

Megan had expected a _one_, but there was none. Hence she was puzzled for several seconds.

Sam sighed. She took over. 'This is Carly, and I'm Sam.'

'Oh, yeah, reality check, I'm Carly,' lied Megan. 'and this is our tech genius Freddie…'

Sam poked Megan, and she triggered a fake 'boo!'.

Megan shrugged.

Sam talked a lot.

Megan just nodded at each of Sam's phrases.

Sam moved on to the next segment. 'And today, we've got a special guest named Drake Parker.' She triggered a fake applause.

Megan forced herself into trying to summarise Drake's career in an objective manner.

Drake walked in from the elevator, and he waved around.

Megan announced, 'and today, he's going to sing one of my favouroite songs, it is _Highway To Nowhere_[4:2]'

Sam waved.

Drake had plugged his guitar into the socket. He took his plectrum and started picking the strings.

Freddie mixed the sound.

The attic started quaking from the sound.

After the song, Drake rendered his plectrum unto Sam. 'A gift for you!'

Sam smiled proudly. She did not know that she was not Drake's first fan to receive a plectrum.

Finally, the show was over.

Freddie and Sam wiped a lot of sweat off their face.

Freddie started checking the feedback.

Many viewers were happy because Sam had been talking more than Carly.

Freddie read, 'some Wendy Gellar[4:3] is jealous of Sam, and she challenges her for a duel!' He grinned. 'Go, Wendy!'

Sam coughed.

Megan giggled. 'Cool!'

Drake explained 'Wendy had stalked me all over the city. That was terrible…'

Sam shrugged. 'OK… the competition is tough…'

Megan feared, 'Wendy might recognise me… that could be terrible.'

Freddie shrugged.

The show had been a plain success, but Carly's replacement had to face bigger challenges, such as at _Ridgeway_.

* * *

**Chapter 5 Megan at Ridgeway**

* * *

Freddie, Megan, and Sam snuck into their homeroom class.

Sam showed Megan to Carly's usual place, which happened to be right by her side.

Gibby passed by. 'Hey, I'm awesome!' He removed a shirt from his chest.

'Who's that spaz?' wondered Megan.

Sam had told Megan about Gibby during the last night.

Megan grinned. 'Oh Gibby, your new T-shirt is cool. The rest sucks.'

Gibby was flabbergasted. He sat down, sobbing all the way.

Sam guggled noisily.

Megan took sum chewing gum she found under Carly's table, and she formed a little gum doll in the likeness of Gibby. Then she poked the mini-Gibby with her pointy fingernails.

Gibby squealed without warning.

Sam chuckled mercilessly.

Wesley passed by, beatboxing.

Sam explained that.

Megan remarked, 'your cousin Greg[5:1] is much better. He beatboxes with his flute.'

Sam nodded. 'But je's in prison.'

Megan asked, 'for beatboxing?'

Sam grinned. 'Dern close! He boxed a cop and beat him up with his flute.'

Megan giggled. 'Cool!'

Sam chuckled mercilessly.

The room was now full of pupils.

Mrs. Briggs entered. She was their homeroom teacher.

'The worst female teacher at Ridgeway,' whispered Sam.

Megan scratched her head, 'reminds me of one Mrs. Hayfer, Drake's former teacher before he dropped out. I pulled a prank on Hayfer and gort expelled from _Belleview_. That's why I switched to Josh as my homeschool teacher.'

Sam shrugged. 'I have no step-brother that could be a teacher.'

Mrs. Briggs homeroom classes were even way more annoying than her English classes.

Freddie was the first to fall asleep, followed by Sam, Gibby, Wesley, Jonah[5:2], Jeremy[5:3], Arthur Gradstein[5:4], Duke[5:5], Reuben[5:6], and Valerie[5:7].

Megan stayed awake in order to think about a possible prank on Briggs.

A few minutes later, the door opened.

Pete[5:8] walked in. 'A note from Principal Franklin…'

Mrs. Briggs shrugged, reading the note. 'Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett to Principal Franklin's office!'

Megan yawned.

Mrs. Briggs admonished "Carly".

Megan poked Freddie and Sam.

Sam yawned even worse. 'Homeroom is over?'

Megan shook her head. 'WE have to go to some Principal Franklin, wherever that is…'

Sam awakened Freddie by rubbing her breakfast into his face.

Mrs. Briggs grunted when she saw the kids vanish.

* * *

Megan, Freddie, and Sam entered the office of Ted Franklin, the headmaster of _Ridgeway_.

Sam grinned. 'I've already got detention for the whole week, you can'r give me any more.'

Principal Franklin shook his head. 'That's not why you're here. Your parents' and guardians' request for homeschooling has been approved by sup int Gorman[5:9]. Starting with tomorrow, you're no longer needed here.'

Freddie, Sam, and Megan high-fived.

Apparently, the official of the school district of Seattle Westside was happy to get rid of three buggers that always caused troubles to his three favourite teachers, i.e. Mr. Devlin[5:10], Mrs. Briggs, and Mr. Howard.

'Good luck,' wished the principal. He sobbed silently. _School would be boring without Sam._

The kids returned to the locker hall, as homeroom class was now all but over.

Megan giggled. 'Briggs will still get her prank, no matter what!'

Sam smiled.

* * *

The morning classes were over.

Megan, Freddie, and Sam entered the cafeteria.

Sam grinned like a hyena. 'OK, no ham today…'

Megan shrugged. 'I hate ham! It's so… porkish.'

'_Porkish_ isn't even a word,' complained Freddie.

Megan glared viciously at Freddie. Then she took over Sam's vegetables, leaving her her dessert.

'I want strawberries and whipped cream, too,' uttered Freddie.

'Bad luck,' replied Sam when she took Freddie's.

Freddie grunted. _Megan was terrible. She had already caused him to wash his mouth thrice, and now that… Fortunately, Quinn was soon going to show up and restore Carly._

Megan started making a mini sculpture of Mrs. Briggs. 'I better let Spencer make one, he's better at that…'

* * *

The day at _Ridgeway_ was over.

Drake had picked Megan, Freddie, and Sam from school.

Sam suggested a short trip to _Groovy Smoothie_.

Freddie seconded that.

Drake did not object. Alas, he forgot to wig himself.

Upon them entering the kids' pub, many kids recognised the rock idol from California.

Everyone wanted an autogram.

T-Bo, a cranky waiter at [5:11], grinned when he walked up to Drake. 'A pickled cucumber? For an autograph of yours, you will get the whole stick.'

'Drake doesn't eat cucumbers,' remarked Megan.

Drake shook his head. 'I give you an autograph, and you disappear from here with your stick and don't bother us again with your cucumbers.'

T-Boo agreed with the deal.

Drake signed T-Bo's guest book with three crosses, as he was not a good writer.

T-Bo disappeared behind the counter.

The kids and Drake sat down.

Alas, Drake was nowhere near safe.

Numerous other kids wanted another autograph.

Megan suggested, 'everyone who wants an autograph from Drake: send the requested fee of 5 bucks to the following account…' Megan mentioned a long number.

The random kids calmed down.

Valerie, Jeremy, Gibby, Duke, and Jonah were among them, too.

Gibby wanted an authograph on his bare chest.

Jeremy sneezed right into Drake's face.

One of the kids was Chuck Chambers from _Bushwell_. He thought about a way of making money with Drake's presence.

* * *

Finally, everyone was back in Spencer's loft.

Josh and Spencer had spent the afternoon shopping.

Baby Carly had been with them., causing them a lot of trouble.

Fortunately, thsi was all over now.

Megan played a lullaby for her cousin.

The following days were expected to be a lot easier, down to homeschooling.

Carly was fast asleep.

Thus Megan was not apparently needed. She withdrew into a silent corner. Thereupon she started to contact her witchcraft student Malika telepathically. 'The fox is in his den!'

The door bell rang.

Clueless Spencer opened for some harmless looking teenager girl.

Josh twitched upon recognising the girl. 'Wendy?'

Wendy Cassidy grinned. 'Sam Puckett, you're not going to steal Drake from me. He's mine, always and ever!'

Freddie figured that Wendy Cassidy was possibly a stalker worse than Mandy Valdez[5:12]

Drake sighed with excessive despair.

An old nightmare was about starting again.

* * *

**Chapter 6 Home Classes**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

next morning after breakfast

******Place**:

* * *

the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Spencer Shay, Drake Parker, Joshuah Nichols, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Megan Parker, Carly Shay, Wendy Cassidy

* * *

Sam yawned. 'No school means more breakfast, right?'

Josh shook his head. 'Home classes!'

Freddie was already looking forward to Josh's instructions.

Sam yawned even more.

Wendy had spent the night on the little carpet in front of the room of Drake, Josh, and Spencer, becasue she did not want to move away from Drake, in case of night mare monsters showuing up and haunting Drake.

Spencer looked at his wrist watch. 'It's time for shopping…'

Drake donned his wig. 'OK, I can't leave the plaza without it. There are other Wendies outside.'

Wendy pouted. 'I'm unique!'

Megan shrugged. She had played a morning lullaby for Carly. 'Don't forget the new diapers, those with extra-strong odor blocker…'

Spencer sighed. Then he left the loft with Drake.

Wendy waited at the door, hell-bent to be the first to open the door upon Drake's return.

Josh established a blackboard. 'OK, this is today's schedule: Latin, Mathematics, Chemistry, Geography, Home Economy, Life Science.'

The pupils moaned.

Josh announced even further, 'Life Science will be taught by Mrs. Benson across the hall. I will teach you the rest.'

Sam almost passed out when she heard Josh mention Freddie's mom.

'Attention! Nouns of the first declension…' Josh wrote a few words onto the board, describing the declension of _porta_, _the door_.

One line read 'porta : oh door'.

Sam scracthed her head. 'Do you talk to doors?'

Josh remarked, ''If you talk to a door, you have to use the vocative case…'

Megan shrugged. 'Only boobs are likely to do that…'

Wendy looked through the door's peep hole.

Josh admonished Wendy to follow his instructions.

Wendy did not budge from the door.

Josh sighed wityh despair.

Sam remarked, 'Melanie's coach talks to his sushi.[6:1]. I would just eat it! Isn't it time for another breakfast break? I haven't eaten in half an hour.'

Freddie grunted, 'there is no Melanie!'

Sam and Freddie glared viciously at each other.

'What a boob…' bellowed Megan. 'His sushi should reply and scare the hell out of him…'

Steps were heard from beyond the wall.

Suddenly, something crashed into the doot.

Wendy shrieked. 'Oh no, Drake…' She opened the door and saw Drake slumping onto the floor.

Drake cursed, 'Oh you dern door!'

Megan giggled. 'I start to like Latin…'

Sam grinned. 'Yeah, we need more of this…'

Wendy cooled Drake's wounds with water.

Drake explained. 'I've forgotten the keys of my car, and… bear with it.'

Josh sighed. 'Those are in my pockets.'

The pupils laughed.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

six hours later

******People**:

* * *

Marissa Benson, Josh Nichols, Sam Puckett, Fredward Benson, Wendy Cassidy

* * *

Finally, it was time for classes in Life Science.

Marissa was going to teach the kids treating babies.

She did not know of the baby being Carly. She thought of it as an infant that Josh and Drake had brought along from California. Marissa inspected Carly all over for signs of baby diseases.

The onlooking pupils were annoyed,

This was all too much for Carly to bear.

She pooped straight into Marissa's face.

Sam laughed at the top of her lungs.

Josh complained, 'that isn't funny!'

Alas, the kids refused to share his opinion.

Marissa fled screaming.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

evening hours

******People**:

* * *

Spencer Shay, Fredward Benson, Drake Parker, Quinn Pensky, Samantha Puckett, Joshuah Nichols, Wendy Cassidy, Melanie Puckett (phone)

* * *

Quinn Pensky had finally arrived in order to perform some medical checks on Carly's current situation. She scrutinised carly with a _quinnocular_.[6:2]

The latter was _a device consisting of five cooperating telescopes_.

Spencer sighed. He needed Quinn to hurry up. 'Grandpa might come over by the end of next month.'

Quinn groaned, 'OK, I may tryy to develop some suitable medic…'

Samantha's cellular phone rang.

Sam picked it up. 'Sam Puckett… Melanie?'

Melanie sighed. 'Aw Sam, it's terrible…'

Sam was not sure what her sister was talking about.

Freddie grunted, 'Sam is insane, she talks to herself via cellular phone…'

Sam kicked Freddie hard.

Melanie explained, 'you remember, my ex-boyfriend, Dustin…'

'Ah, that loser boy…' replied Sam.

Melanie continued, 'well, he's going all depressed, thinking of Carly as having been kidnapped by aliens and replaced with a cheap clone.'

Sam chuckled.

Quinn knew Dustin pretty well, as he was her best friend Zoey's younger brother. 'Oh dear… he's a fan of the show and of Carly. He's very sensitive.'

Spencer was consternated. _Dustin did recognise the fraud…_ 'OK, tell him what happened.'

Sam grunted, 'that's not my job… little baby boys…'

Quinn took over. 'OK, tell Dustin, it's hard to believe, but some witch has turned Carly into a baby. I try to fix that. Her cousin Megan is trying to replace her. But don't tell anyone.'

Melanie sighed. 'Dustin isn't here, you better talk to him directly.'

Quinn sighed. 'I will do so.' She moaned, 'I hope to find the ingredients for a medic to restore Carly.'

Wendy sobbed. 'Years ago, Dustin had a crush on me.[6:3] Back then, I only had eyes for Drake…'

Drake sighed. 'You still do!'

Wendy grinned. 'But only since I saw Samantha abusing Drake.'

Sam poked Wendy.

Drake shrugged his shoulders.

Quinn wiped some sweat off her face. _Was it easier to start brewing some remedy or talking Nevel into releasing the curse? She needed to try both._ 'OK… I won't be able to do everything on my own. Who is best in chemistry?'

Josh twitched.

Megan chuckled. 'Josh has tried to teach us advanced molesting chemistry.'

Quinn choked. 'Great… but it is molecular chemistry.'

Megan shrugged.

Josh beamed. He was rigged and ready to support Quinn's efforts. He took the textbook, written by one Prof. Reese.

Quinn gasped. 'The author is related to my disgustingly dumb ex-fiancé Logan.'[6:4] But she was glad about Josh's help.

* * *

**Chapter 7 Advances**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

two days after, evening hours

******Place**:

* * *

attic of the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Megan Parker, Sabrina Carlsen[7:1], Robert Carmichael[7:2], Melanie Puckett

* * *

Spencer had taken Wendy Cassidy back to the airport and stuffed her into a plane bound for Los Angeles.

It was now time for another edition of _iCarly_.

Freddie counted the seconds. 'Online in 5…4…3…2'

'I'm Carly,' lied Megan.

'I'm Sam,' added Samantha, 'this is iCarly.'

Megan grinned.

'Down to our tech freak Dorkward, we may — once more— run our live chat cam,' announced Sam.

'I've heard that,' complained Freddie.

Sam boomed, 'cool!' She grinned sarcastically.

Megan chuckled. 'A random generator will choose one lucky viewer…'

Freddie pushed a few flashing buttons. 'Yeah, baby!'

A monitor started to flicker.

Everyone was curious.

A girl appeared on the screen. 'Hi Freddie, you are so hot!' She smiled.

Freddie blushed like red-glowing iron.

'Hey, isn't that gibby's cousin Sabrina,' wondered Sam, 'but whoever you are, you must be gaga.' She gestured in some obscene manner.

Megan fainted. _Who the heck was Gibby? Oh yeah, that shirtless boob…_ She sighed with relief. _Fortunately, she had encountered the topless farter right once…_ 'Oh, hi Sabrina, salute Gibby!'

Sabrina grinned. 'I will do so.'

Sam still shook her head.

Freddie had already chatted once with Sabrina. 'Hi, you're really cute…' He stammered helplessly.

Sam shrugged her shoulders. _Boring! Next viewer…_

Freddie wanted to continue chatting with Sabrina.

Sam had other plans for the show. She grabbed her nifty toy and triggered some artificial sound of disgust.

Megan glared oddly at Sam.

Finally, Freddie waved a good-bye at Sabrina.

The screen flickered and went dark.

Megan announced, 'OK, once again…'

Sam nodded. 'But not such a gaga girl…'

Freddie panted. Then he pushed more buttons.

The screen flickered again.

Megan went pale.

A boy had just appeared on the screen. 'Hi Carly, hi Sam!'

Megan went pale. _Robbie Carmichael!_

Robbie was not some arbitrary boy. He was the neighbourhood kid of the Parkers and Nichols in San Diego.

Sam and Freddie did not know about that.

Was everything lost?

Robbie grinned. 'My name is Robbie. I live at _Pacific Coast Academy_ near Los Angeles, exactly like Sam's sister Melanie.'

Freddie blew a billowing cloud of hell-hot brimstone smoke through his capital orifices. 'There is no such thing as "Melanie".'

Sam glared at Freddie. 'Shut up, dorkward!'

Robbie panted. 'Melanie,' yelled he at the yop of his lungs, 'there is some dork who…'

Sam grinned.

'No, there isn't,' claimed Freddie.

Melanie appeared on the screen. 'Hi, sis!' She smiled.

Freddie grunted, 'that's not Melanie, that's Sam!'

'It isn't,' thundered Sam.

Melanie sighed deeply, 'that's impossible. We better call it a chat,' told she unto Robbie.

Robbie nodded, and he clicked a button.

Once more, the screen flickered and went pitch-black.

Megan sighed with relief. 'Robbie would have easily blown the cover. He must have turned suspicious upon Drake's appearance in the show.'

The situation between Freddie and Sam had been escalating to a degree making it impossible for _iCarly_ to continue.

_iCarly_ went offline.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

two hours later

******Place**:

* * *

the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Joshuah Nichols, Drake Parker, Megan Parker, Samantha Puckett, Quinn Pensky

* * *

After the failed show, Freddie had been so upset, he could not stay any longer near Sam. He had shaken his booties and run away.

Carly started screaming.

Megan calmed her down, using her oboe.

Sam explained the situation.

Drake and Josh went pale. 'Robbie… that's really horrible.'

Josh had been calmly analysing Quinn's test tubes. But now he was totally worried. He twitched like an eel. 'That's our end…'

Megan shrugged. 'I fear we will lose a lot of viewers. Carly will hate us.'

Sam fainted. 'That's all Dorkweird's fault!'

Quinn offered to check the viewers' reactions. She knew her way on Freddie's laptop very well, as it was all based on her programs.

Spencer needed to type the password.

Quinn nodded. 'OK, this doesn't look nice… some viewers, on the other hand, thought it fun.'

Sam fainted. 'Erm… really?'

Josh twitched.

Quinn nodded. 'But here… Robbie Carmichael. Yes, I do know him. He is Dustin's room-mate. He's more commonly known as "Scooter", though.'

Sam and Megan went black and blue.

Josh twitched again.

Megan read the news. 'Hi Carly! What was going on? I could not stand it anymore. Upon watching your episode with Drake Parker, my roomie Dustin terrorises me all time, saying that my neighbours Drake and Megan Parker must have abducted Carly and locked her into a wardrobe in order to harvest her renown. He is still grimly determined to find Carly, and then… woe to the kidnappers… You are probably somehow related to Drake and Megan, right? By the way, when will Mandy Valdez be back? I miss her. She's so wonderful.' She fainted. She had to do something about that.

Drake and Josh started trembling. They were now wanted for kidnapping Carly, weren't they?

Sam gasped. 'Robbie was totally gaga. Mandy Valdez was as horrible as a fan could be.'

Megan pondered. _It was necessary to get Dustin to calm down. She hadnever teleported herself over such a distance. But she needed to try teleporting to Robbie. And she needed to show baby Carly to Dustin. He was able to tell them apart from almost alike-looking people over such a distance. Carly and Dustin must be soul-mates. And thus he was also going to recognise Carly, even in her current shape as a baby. But Spencer was hardly going to allow for that experiment. Did that imply a necessity of kidnapping Carly in order to show that Carly has not been kidnapped? That was totally weird, wasn't it?_

Finally, the door bell rang again.

Sam moaned with despair. 'Fredward…'

Freddie walked in, all pale.

Spencer gasped. 'Freddie?'

Freddie squealed, 'I've met Sabrina… she's so tall!' He almost threw up.

Sam chuckled with glee.

Megan grinned. 'So, Sabrina was too tall… well, there were magical means in order to change that…'

* * *

**Chapter 8 Finale**

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

next morning

******Place**:

* * *

the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Josh Nichols, Megan Parker, Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Drake Parker, Spencer Shay

* * *

Megan held Carly in her arms.

Sam asked megan, 'don't you want to come with us to the shopping mall? Many hot boys are there…'

Megan shook her head. 'I've got my Tyler. I don't want any hot boys. I stay here with Carly.'

Sam shrugged. 'OK…'

Drake tied Josh's shoes. 'Lats time, you stumbled over your own shoes…'

Josh twitched, making Drake's task harder.

Spencer counted the keys. 'OK, that's my car key…'

Sam shrugged. 'Why use a key when you can shortcircuit the car…'

Freddie glared at Sam with disgust.

Everyone walked out, barring Megan and Carly.

According to Spencer, she was now left alone for at least three hours.

This was the perfect time for a teleportation spell.

But were three hours enough to find Dustin Brooks and calm him down?

Megan and Carly dissolved into a puff of smoke.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

_Pacific Coast Academy_, lounge of _Butler Hall_

******People**:

* * *

Megan Parker, Carly Shay, Robert Carmichael, Harper Harris[8:1], Addie Singer[8:2], Wendy Cassidy, Melanie Puckett, many random pupils (background)

* * *

Megan appeared in a puff of smoke in the middle of a lounge.

Many pupils stared at her. 'Carly!'

Robbie Carmichael noticed her. 'Wow, Carly! You were really fast!'

Megan coughed. 'Where is Dustin?'

Robbie picked his cellular phone, typing Dustin's number.

Megan's former friend Addie Singer recognised "Carly". She had already forgotten about Megan.

Megan growled.

Harper Harris grinned. 'Is that your baby, Carly?'

Megan scratched her head. _Who was that grinning monster?_ 'No way!'

Harper took his guitar in order to play a melody.

Megan had never heard it.

Carly, on the other hand, smiled. She remebered the tune he had played during his visit to 'showtitleiCarly studio. She smiled and fumbled with her little arms.

Harper shrugged. 'And this tune has been performed by my brother André at _Hollywood Art School_.' He played even more. 'My girlfriend Lisa Perkins sings perfectly to that tune. All alone, I can't do it well….'

Megan hated the lame melody. But she feigned being polite.

Wendy was also around. She knew that this was Megan. Alas, she feared to blow her cover by mere accident. Thus she snuck away.

Class president Jenifer Mosely, aka Moze, shoed some of the pupils away. 'You annoy the baby to death!'

Megan walked and sat down. She thanked Moze. Then she unsheathed her oboe and started playing a lullaby for excited Carly, making her fall asleep.

Dustin Brooks came along. He saw Megan, and he realised that she's not Carly. 'Don't believe her! She's an imposter!'

Megan had never claimed to be Carly.

The mass of pupils was consternated.

Megan stood up. 'OK, Dustin, let me tell you one thing….' She whispered into his ears, 'I am not Carly. My name is Megan Parker, Robbie's neighbour. But this is Carly!' She gave him the baby.

Dustin would have laughed like a clown.

But something in Carly's face told him told him to reconsider.

Dustin looked into Carly's eyes. _That was the same crystallised smile as Carly. Megan could have said the truth. But maybe it was Carly's baby?_

Most of the pupils did not believe in Dustin's judgment.

Even Melanie was flabbergasted.

Moze did not care who or what the baby was. She ordered the pupils to leave Megan and the baby alone.

* * *

**Place**:

* * *

101 Brenner Hall

******People**:

* * *

Dustin Brooks, Robert Carmichael, Carly Shay, Megan Parker, Dustin Brooks

* * *

Carly slept peacefully in Dustin's arms.

Megan explained, 'OK, my friend Malika has turned Carly into a baby.'

Dustin growled like a lion.

Carly remained asleep.

Megan explained, 'Malika and her boyfriend Nevel are sorry. But Carly seems to be too happy as a baby. This makes it impossible for Malika to reverse the spell.'

Dustin sighed.

Robbie was still consternated because he had confused Megan and Carly.

Carly woke up from Dustin's thunder roar, and she looked up to her most sincere fan.

Dustin blushed.

Carly blushed back. She smiled at Dustin. Suddenly, she started changing. Her arms grew longer, enabling her to hug him.

She also grew elsewhere.

Robbie was dizzy.

Finally, she was back to teenage, and she kissed Dustin's cheeks.

Robbie passed out.

Carly wondered how she had made it there. _Where was she, anyways?_

Megan explained everything.

Carly was flabbergasted. But she did not stop hugging Dustin.

Alas, time was going to run out.

Megan and Carly had to return to Seattle.

Dustin waved sadly at Carly when the girls disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

**Time**:

* * *

half a week later

******Place**:

* * *

attic of the Shay loft

******People**:

* * *

Fredward Benson, Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Dustin Brooks (web chat), Robert Carmichael (web chat), Amanda Valdez (later), Sabrina Carlsen (web chat), Gibson Carlsen (web chat), Ryan Laserbeam (web chat), Addie Singer (web chat)

* * *

Freddie counted the seconds, 'online in 5…4…3…2'

Carly grinned. 'Sorry, I am Carly, I really am…'

Sam grinned. 'Carly had been recently sick, but she's now healthy again.'

Carly thanked her cousin Megan. 'You've subbed well!' She wiped some sweat off her head.

Sam continued. 'Do you remember Sabrina? The gaga girl that hit on Fredward?'

Carly grinned. 'She was a bit too tall for Freddie. But we've increased Freddie's size…'

Freddie stepped in front of the cam, displaying his additional inches.

Actually, Nevel and Megan had stretched a Freddie doll, making him grow.

Sam triggered the applause.

Freddie activated the screen.

Sam announced Dustin Brooks. 'And Carly has now a new boyfriend. Not gaga Fredward, or Mr. Peewee Griffin[8:3], but Dustin from California who had helped her to overcome her disease. At least he knows how to treat a girl like Carly.' She triggered more of the fake applause.

Dustin blushed and smiled. 'Hi Carly… Freddie… Sam…'

Carly blushed deeply.

Sam grinned. 'Someone seems to be a bit in love… whatever,we need to move on. Dustin is Carly's most sincere fan, but her most terrifying fan is … Mandy … Valdez!'

Mandy walked in.

Dustin ws pushed aside by Robbie. 'Hi Mandy! I love you!'

Mandy grinned. 'Is that Robbie?'

Sam nodded.

Mandy beamed. 'OK, let's dance the duck dance! Quack quack!' She donned her improved duck costume.

Carly and Sam had to watch them dance.

Unfortunately, Freddie had to cut the connection in order to allow for other viewers to chat.

A shirtless figure appeared on the screen. 'Carly! Freddie! Sam…'

Sam glared aghast. 'Gibby!'

Gibby's cousin Sabrina was there, too. She noticed Freddie's improved size. 'Wow! Freddie! Since when are you such a hot stud?'

Freddie beamed proudly. Too bad he needed to allow for other viewers.

'hey, my name is Katie Knight,' announced the new girl on the monitor, 'Gibby is so sweet when he's topless. Is he still single?'

Carly grinned. 'Probably…'

'No longer,' claimed Katie.

Sam shrugged. 'OK, Freddie's happy, Carly's happy, even Gibby is happy, … but I'll always be an old spinster.'

Freddie switched to the next random viewer.

'Hello, my name is Ryan,' announced the viewer. quotLaserbeam is my surname. Sam's cousin Pinky[8:4] told me about this show. I don't work for _MadStyle_, i.e. I am here in order to annoy my friends True and Lulu, but I don't work. I just fumble with the machines here, especially snack vendor machines, and I use the computer for games and chatting. My favourites are spying games. He stuffed a stolen cereal bar down his throat.

Sam beamed, 'OK, Ryan, you're my man!'

Ryan added, 'oh I've got some request for the witch who has made Freddie bigger… if I sent you a voodoo doll of one of the leading employees here, will you stan needles into her butt?'

Said employee was Amanda Cantwell, a ver abrasive woman.

Sam nodded. 'I will tell Malika.'

Freddie had to cut the connection.

Addie Singer appeared. 'Hi Carly. I'm sorry for having confused you with your cousin, although she was a former friend of mine. I've written a little song for you. It's name is _Young Forever_.' She started singing.

Carly sighed. 'I've learned my lesson. Maybe growing up isn't such a bad thing after all.'

Freddie and Sam nodded solemnly. Then they chimed into the song.

* * *

Spoencer was upset because Carly had a new boyfriend. He wanted to contact Dustin's parents.

Unforunately Zoey — Dustin's sister of eighteen years — was responsible for him, the parents living abroad. She turned out to be the mystery girl to design all those multi-coloured socks and ties and shirts worn by Spencer.

Thus Spencer had to arrange with Zoey, which wasn't unpleasant at all.

Malika continued her business.

Carly, Freddie, and Sam ordered Malika to make dolls of Lewbert and his new girlfriend Coco Wexler — a girls' dorm adviser from Dustin's school who had come to know Lewbert by means of watching _Mess with Lewbert_ — and poke them with carious needles over and over.

The results were shown online and became the backbone of _iCarly_.

_**The End**_

* * *

** 1:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iSpeed Date_

**1:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _The Great Doheny_

**1:3**:

* * *

from _Drake & Josh_ : [1:4] — surname is constructed in accordance with same actor's rôle in _Billy Engvall Show_ which I don't own

**1:4**:

* * *

I Love Sushi

**1:5**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Megan's First Kiss_ — here identified with Chase Matthews's cousin from Phoenix, _Zoey 101_ : _Great Vince Blake_, as both of them are kungfu masters

**1:6**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Quinn's Alpaca_

**1:7**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ :

**1:8**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iDate A bad Boy_ — surname taken from _Lincoln Heights_ which I don't own, either

**1:9**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iGive Away A Car_

**1:10**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iRue The Day_

**2:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWant My Website Back_

**2:2**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iEnrage Gibby_

**2:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWill Date Freddie_

**2:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iFight Shelby Marx_

**2:5**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iGive Away A car_

**3:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iPie_

**3:2**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iTake On Dingo_

**3:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iTwins_

**3:4**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWant To Stay With Spencer_

**4:1**:

* * *

Nathan's anonymous cameo in _Drake & Josh_ : _Battle Of Panthatar_ — it's rumoured that Nickelodeon cut off the Megan – Toplin interaction and moved it to the beginning of _iCarly_

**4:2**:

* * *

song by Drake Bell which I don't own

**4:3**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Fan Number One_ — surname is taken from same actress's rôle in _Camp Rock_, a movie which I don't own — not to be confused with some Wendy from _The iCarly Show_

**5:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHeart Art_

**5:2**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHate Sams Boyfriend_

**5:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iNevel_

**5:4**:

* * *

unportrayed in _The iCarly Show_ : _iLike Jake_ — really a member of _Schneider's Bakery_

**5:5**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHatch Chicks_

**5:6**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWin A Date_

**5:7**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iWill Date Freddie_

**5:8**:

* * *

cf. _iMake Sam Girlier_

**5:9**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iHave My Principals_

**5:10**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iPromise Not To Tell_

**5:11**:

* * *

Groovy Smoothie

**5:12**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iAm Your Biggest Fan_

**6:1**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _People Auction_

**6:2**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Curse Of The PCA_

**6:3**:

* * *

cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Lola Likes Chase_

**6:4**:

* * *

_Zoey 101_ : _Zoey's Tutor_ mentions Logan's grandad as a university teacher for Chemistry

**7:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ :_iBeat The Heat_

**7:2**:

* * *

cf. _Drake & Josh_ : _Treehouse_ — identified with Scooter from _Zoey 101_ : _Favor Chain_

**8:1**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iCarly Saves TV_ — surname chosen in agreement with same actor's task in _Victorious_

**8:2**:

* * *

identifies that main character of _Unfabulous_ with same actress's cameo in _Drake & Josh_ : _Honor Council_

**8:3**:

* * *

cf. _The iCarly Show_ : _iDate A Bad Boy_

**8:4**:

* * *

cf. _True Jackson VP_ : _Hiring A Pink_


End file.
